Top 10 Points That Make Guys Grateful

Ten issues that Every Guy Loves, irrespective of What

Pop culture wants to depict united states men because simpler in the species; monosyllabic, sex-obsessed knuckle-draggers, possessing the range of a kiddie pool; all predictability of an event. Ply united states with alcohol, pulled pork, UFC, and/or breasts, and in addition we’re putty within hands, right?

Incorrect. We are advanced, unstable, super-complicated snowflakes — our preferences a lot more varied, much more unique than a goddamn Oriental bazaar. Truth is, we’re so multi-layered it’ll hit you on the ass.

Here, then, is actually an email list 10 of the things that make you pleased, and prepare to be astonished or, not surprised at all because, like we mentioned, we are unpredictable.

1) Feats Of Non-Strength

Darts. Horseshoes. Ladder Toss. Beyond the hallowed fields of play will be the hallowed vehicle parking lots and backyards of drink, and where indeed there be beverage, there shall be tasks — non-athletic tasks, still demanding exceptional ability, but without any risk of elevating cardiovascular system prices or splitting sweats. This type of pursuits additionally manage you a totally free hand to keep our beverage and/or fist-bump and/or high-five, so makes it even more awesome. 

2) You Built That!

Through the manly pride you felt after sculpting that crap-tacular mom’s time ceramic ashtray circa 1994 Arts & Crafts, to staring in joyful awe at your basic diaper-destroying poo, to building your own gf’s Ikea MALM, we all have been hardwired to lie when you look at the joy of creating one thing; The pleasure of conclusion. (A corollary of your is The happiness of Demolition, in particular because it applies to stupid Ikea furnishings.)

3) “driving It Down”

That is what comedian Bill Burr phone calls the physical exercise of a man attempting, without exceptions, in order to maintain their composure, doubting themselves any convention of feeling, in by far the most terrible of circumstances, whereby it could or else end up being completely permissible so that free with a pathetic whimper or, as conditions dictated, a banshee wail. But a man doesn’t allow themselves such indulgences. To get clear: it isn’t the bottling up of one’s very own feelings which makes united states happy; it is the not having to suffer through another mans emotional outburst that delivers all of us the real pleasure. Easily genuinely wish to encounter feeling, it will be personal, and it is each time We cue upwards that Volkswagen advertisement with the Darth Vader child — it gets myself each and every time.

4) how can We place This Politely… 

whatever you decide and call it — a hummer, a beej, fellatio, oral delight — it does not need much explanation. The scientific reason behind why it makes us pleased is really because the satisfaction facilities have rocked like a goddamn hurricane. The mental reason is we get a front line seat to a woman we at the least kind of like becoming very gross for people, and you by yourself. That makes all of us pretty happy. In other news, fire is hot.

5) Intelligence Masquerading As Stupidity Masquerading As Intelligence

There’s grounds the brilliant creators regarding the likes of Ron Burgundy, Kenny Powers and Homer Simpson have thus carefully taken all of our hearts: Watching a smart star pretend he’s a guy therefore stupid he feels he’s a genius is simply very satisfying. Providing people with such a potent combination of arrogance and ineptitude is actually, in addition to jazz, the great American artform. Their particular antics include source of hours and hours of one’s pleasure and, to quote Mr. Burgundy: “cannot act like you aren’t amazed.”

6) McGuyvering

It’s somewhat related to the “creating your personal material” thing, nevertheless the heart of McGuyvering is far more about a man’s instinct to improvise and correct whatever requirements repairing with all the restricted sources available, in addition to a lot more non-traditional a better solution, the better. Many of these solutions would in the long run do not succeed but, until they actually do, absolutely a definite sense of euphoria we go through, once you understand we were able to fix that moped/toilet/rollerblades/Xbox controller with just the clean arms, power of will, and a metric bunch of duct recording.

7) TVs In Random Places

This brings together our very own pleasure of watching shiny things with this passion for gadgetry, combined in using ethos to do things mainly because we can, guy: from Dick Tracy’s original TV wristwatch, to Elvis’ infamous tv graveyard/target array, to generally every bout of that featured a television within a vehicle’s sunshine visors/headrest/center console/hubcaps, to people resort restroom decorative mirrors with, you guessed it, stuck mini TVs; they are all awesome to make all of us laugh.

8) your pet dog sporting Sunglasses, sitting on A Surfboard


We have not a clue, but that reply to the thing that makes a person laugh is actually, most of the time, “looking at an image of your dog with sunglasses on a surfboard.” There is sporadically some variation — it could alternatively be a skateboard, and/or sunglasses could possibly be substituted for a monocle, but that would be less probable clearly. Point staying, the opinion is not any some other image, in short supply of His Excellency The Pope, or even Jesus, or Lemmy from Motörhead rocking on thus damn difficult, garners much more smiles versus dog/surfboard combination. It’s just the “really bro, performed I absolutely only pull this off? I guess i did so,” appearance on pet’s face. He’s carrying it out for all of us. He’s sporting, he’s down for a great time, but dude is chill regarding it. If you are men and cannot smile at that, the face is probably broken and I also’m sorry.

9) compact Things

Portability certainly suggests to be able to move the awesomeness of the favorite thing and, in so doing, offering glee wherever you are going. Battleship was the greatest game ever. (i am told Candyland was also outstanding but I never ever played it as the assumption felt unlikely) But Travel Battleship? Actually cooler — much cooler than wake-surfing behind the U.S.S. Nimitz. Bongs are very cool. The portable snowboard repair system that transforms into a miniature one-hitter? Ice cold. Personalized chopper cycle? Quite cool. Minibike? Miles-fist-bumping-Elvis degrees of cool. Barbecue cigarette smoker? Pretty rad and probably precisely why the terrorists dislike all of us. Barbecue cigarette smoker connected to a trailer hitch, ready for all the available road? Precisely why the terrorists will never win.

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10) Repetition, Repetition

The inside joke or shared anecdote is a nice and intoxicating thing — like a good swig of Kentucky Bourbon. Although sly and constant call-back to said anecdote, also, state, decade later? Well, that there is the Lagavulin unmarried malt — suitably elderly and this so much more gratifying. Like that time in 2006 as soon as buddy Jer arrived to a garden barbecue inside the unnecessarily short shorts. Endless humorous commentary ensued about Jer’s “sweet calves” and “epic upper thighs” — therefore definitely couldn’t conclude here. Also many years afterwards, the subject of Jer’s Killer Gams however comes up — actually at his wedding toast — bringing fun and joy to scores of males.